Author note:
A novice computer user stopped me in the hallway and expressed his concern about the proliferation of useless hotmeals on the World Wide Web. I was puzzled until I realized that he was referring to the acronym HTML (hypertext markup language) which he pronounced as HoTMeaLs. The following song is based on "Hot Frogs On The Loose" written by Fred Small (1993) which is itself based on a true story. The author wishes to thank Lois Selfridge for her vote of confidence.
Introduction (audience participation):
Click! Click! Oooooh!
Click! Click! Oooooh!
Click! Click! Oooooh!
HoTMeaLs on the Loose!
Song:
By the light of the Internet moon
From the mindless musing of a user boon
They make a hacker howl, a Home page swoon
HoTMeaLs on the loose!
They've multiplied since '89
Harvesting, clicking all the time.
Ubiquitous, fabulous, fancy, mine
HoTMeaLs on the loose!
CHORUS:
Hippity, hoppity here they come
Dormant or active, waiting to run
If you click them you're stuck till they're done
HoTMeaLs on the loose!
They have very little content and much surprise
Summarizing is not advised
They might appear in any guise
HoTMeaLs on the loose!
They've got an anchor tag body and a global leap
On your mon-it-tor they peep
They make your error message beep
HoTMeaLs on the loose!
CHORUS
Rev your keyboard to a speed board till the modem squeals
View the code-you've got HoTMeaLs
Now you know just how it feels to be a
HoTMeaL on the loose!
Selling them may pay your debts
Sharing them may bring regrets
Make a NetCitizen's Arrest of a
HoTMeaL on the loose!
Links for peace, links for defense
Don't be nervous, don't make sense
We need more users far less dense
To keep the HoTMeaLs from getting loose!
CHORUS
(fade out)
HoTMeaLs on the loose ...
HoTMeaLs on the loose ...
by Lee Ratzan